There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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