capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
