...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
