Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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