you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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