I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
