Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
