he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
