how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
