We're like a lot better than the average bears
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
