I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
