Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
