I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
