so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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