If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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