Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
