so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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