Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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