Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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