so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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