he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
