no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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