1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
