Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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