your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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