Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
