Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
