...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
