wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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