I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
