oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
