hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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