he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
