the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
