sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh god it's open bar.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
