she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize