I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
