I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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