if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
