Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize