Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate your face
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
