Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
foreskin is a definite game changer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
