theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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