I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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