I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
