I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize