So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
