In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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