I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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