that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
