butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
my poor anus
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
