he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
