Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
