On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
...so i touched it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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