Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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