the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
