I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
