what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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