He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
