It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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