Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Randomize
